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| UKWA sailors tackle the jumbo sausage | | Posted On: 19/07/2005 | |
| "If you can dodge a wrench you can dodge a dodge ball!"
Yesterday was the funniest thing I have seen since the wrench scene in Vince Vaughn and Ben Stiller's "Dodgeball" movie.
After a tag team effort to inflate the sausage, carry the tube and moor it, Nathan Corridon, Mark Warren, Warren Rowe, James Smith, Andy Murray and myself gave the jumbo sausage a go.
It stood there lonely for 30 minutes with the guys flirting with it.
I carried my gear to the water's edge, an old man turned to me and said, "what do you do with that?" I retorted, "I'm gonna jump it!....but I won't sing too loudly 'cos I am not sure if I will make it."
I figured it was just like football - if you go into a tackle half-heartedly, you get hurt, so full-on it was to be!
First run, with the echo's of the old man's taunt I aimed straight for the middle of it! " do not bottle it, do not bottle it....... and then, two feet away from this awfully fat and round, flabby piece of plastic I pulled down as hard as I could on my boom and lifted as hard as I could with my feet to chop-hop as high as possible! I took off, I was on top of it, gob-smacked, the fin hit it and richocheted me off it and I was still planing! I 'd done it and I unashamedly I claimed it! - Yes it was possible. To celebrate I went for a forward and spanked my self like always... but I was smiling.
The flood gates were open, Warren from spotonwater arrived and hit it first run, James Smith then crossed it on Port, the first to do it! and yes he claimed it to shreiks of laughter, then Mr. Mark Warren took a humungous fall, he jumped straight into the side of it and killed himself, a wipeout that was only surpasseed by Robin Penna's first attempt, starfish , arse bump, head bang and dazed disaster! then "fishy Steve had a go and totalled his rig and spent the rest of the session swimming.
I attempted it 40 odd times on a Fanatic Skate 100, a 5.7 and 5.4 Pryde (strong sails and no cams!) and most importantly a short freestyle fin, no bigger than 27cms. I reckon crossed it 25 times, completed it 8 or 9 times both ways and completely spanked myself the rest! After the laughter subsided we reckon 1 in 5 attempts is successful, so the weekend is going to be so, so, so funny - pray, dance, sacrifice, whatever; for wind please! because this is going to be great!
"..the funniest thing I have done for years" Warren Rowe
"this is the best laugh I have had in years!" James Smith
"it is going to be absolute carnage!" Nathan Corridon |
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